Tag Archives: booze

Sober for 19 days

Today was the 19th day of my freedom from alcohol. Till a few days ago I used to say “dry” but now I┬áprefer the word “free”. Being sober is being free.

I stopped drinking 19 days ago. I went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me some medication, to help me get over my anxiety, during my withdrawal stage. It helped. The medication managed to get over the first few days of acute withdrawal.

The biggest problem, during those first few days, was that I couldn’t take a break from my normal routine. I had to function normally at work. I own my own company. It’s a small startup, so I don’t get to take too many holidays. I have taken advantage of being the boss, and slacked off quite a bit during the past few days, to take out some quiet time for myself.

I joined a gym. Its been about a week now. I haven’t missed a day. I usually go in the mornings. The mornings feel so peaceful. I have been pushing myself. trying to channelize my negativity into my workouts, pushing myself harder and harder.

Exercise has helped a lot. It takes away my demons. It drains me. Empties me out. For a few hours after I come from the gym, the endorphins in my system, keep me in a good mood.

I stopped writing in this blog for a while. I kept giving up alcohol and kept relapsing. This time will be different. This time is the last time.

I will try to be regular on this blog. Put down a few thoughts everyday. All part of my therapy.


Anger and addiction

I feel angry when I am craving for alcohol or for weed. Or when I am having a hangover. Why do I get angry? I think it is the people around me who are making me angry. But its actually my craving which is making me angry.

My body needs booze or weed to relax and when it doesn’t get it, I get angry. I am irritable. Very irritable. I lose my cool over small things.

It’s worse when I mix Alcohol and Weed. The next morning is bad. Depending on how much I drink, I probably end up sleeping for the next day. In the evening I will start craving. I will get angry. I need my high. I need oblivion. I need good sleep. I need to relax.

After I get my high I am okay again. When I smoke weed alone I am relaxed. But when I mix weed and booze I am very jolly. Unless something pisses me off. And then I go ballistic. I blow up.

If it’s just my craving which makes me angry, why do I get angry after booze and weed together? There is something more to this.