It’s day 2 of my sobriety, and I am already feeling restless and edgy for a drink. I keep making excuses to myself, to persuade myself to go out and get a drink. Fortunately there is no alcohol around me, or I don’t think I could have stopped myself. The only way I can get a drink is if I go to a wine store and get one. I am trying to stop myself, from going out.
It’s late afternoon. If i can get through the next few hours, I will be okay. I don’t want to go out and drink. I need to stop drinking. It’s going to be hard.
I am not having physical withdrawals. I just keep getting irritated by small things. I know it is just the craving for alcohol which is making me irritated. But knowing doesn’t stop it. Knowing that this irritation is just craving for alcohol doesn’t calm my mind. The mind is cunning. It make me feel irritated and edgy, so that I will go out and get a drink. I know getting a drink will calm me down. I have to resist the temptation.
I have heard some people say that the first few days are the worst. I have to hang on and be strong. I am watching a lot of movies. I like watching movies and they distract me. While I am watching a movie, I am not thinking of drinking so much. But watching movies has a downside. Whenever I see someone in the movie drinking, I want a drink too. The craving kicks in.
Most of the time, I used to drink in the evenings. So, my urges become very strong in the evenings. The next few hours will be a challenge. I am smoking a lot of cigarettes too. But I can’t help it. Smoking calms me down somewhat. If I did not have cigarettes, I would be walking on the walls, right about now. Wouldn’t it be funny if I manage to quit drinking and got lung cancer?